There have been a ton of songs written about the idea of change. Back in the ‘60’s, the band The Byrds sang a song that said,
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven
Over fifty years later in 2019, Post Malone sang,
seasons change and our love went cold
Change is inevitable. It’s going to happen, and happen, and happen, and happen…. Nothing we can do about it. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Why am I talking about this you ask? Well, at 5:30 this morning I woke up to turn over (there’s an example of change, dang…) and as I was trying to go back to sleep it suddenly hit me, “ONE DAY I’LL BE IN THE LITERAL PRESENCE OF JESUS!” Out of the blue. I don’t know what made me think that, but I did. I’d like to tell you that my first reaction was “PRAISE GOD, I CAN’T WAIT!”
But it wasn’t.
Honestly, the thought freaked me out. Scared me a little. I’m not exactly sure why. You can completely trust me when I say I want to go to heaven. I want to hear Jesus say, “Well done. Welcome home.” It’s not a feeling of I’m not sure of my salvation or being sure of where I’m going. I believe in the Bible and what it tells me. It’s not any of that. I have no doubt that my eternal destination as a Christ follower is one day being in heaven in the presence of God. Jesus promised and I believe it (just check out John 14, verses 1-13 to be precise). The truth and promise of forever in and through Jesus isn’t the problem. The more I think about it, the more soul searching I do, it becomes more and more obvious.
I hate change.
As selfish and as petty as it may sound, the idea of things changing scares me a just a bit. Now, I don’t really want to get into the debate of it, partly because I myself can’t say for sure (which is another aggravation…), but I hate the idea of my relationship with my wife not being the same anymore. I love being Wendy’s husband. How she puts up with me sometimes is beyond me. Her patience and her love for me is a blessing that just blows me away. I know we are bonded by the blood of Christ as Christ followers first, and then married, but I hate the thought of how our relationship will change. I love my sons, and we are brothers in the Lord, but the thought of me not “really” being their father in heaven wrecks me a little. I Corinthians 13:12 says,
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.- I Corinthians 13:12
When I get to stand face to face with Jesus, I will know what it means to KNOW, if you know what I mean. The only thing that will matter is that I have known Him as my Savior and will experience forever because of Him. Because HE KNOWS ME. There won’t be any need to know Wendy and my sons like I did before, because being with Jesus is all that will matter. I’ll know them like I did before, but there won’t be any reason to know them that way anymore, if that makes sense. But yet, sometimes, I hate the thought of that. Really, I do.
I think the issue is I’m sometimes too comfortable here. I enjoy now. Instead of looking towards the future and my forever home, I enjoy THIS home too much, and the thought of change keeps me sometimes from thoughts of being with Jesus.
And that shouldn’t be.
I Peter 2:11 says,
Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.- I Peter 2:11
When it comes right down to it, the real problem I have is that I’m sometimes half-heartedly fighting the war against my soul. Instead of living like I don’t belong here, I live too much like a native. There are so many times that my comfort here wins out over my future there. And that’s a problem.
I need to start doing more abstaining than I do maintaining. When I do, I’m going to be more restless wanting the change to come instead of being resistant to it. I think that’s what being an alien and stranger here is all about. Pray for me that I’ll seek more for God to relieve my resistance to change and I’ll just seek for more of Him. Pray for me that I’ll be less comfortable and more longing for my real home. Pray that I’ll look forward to my (and hopefully our) forever change.
And may it come quick…